Letting go...

There is a tree in our "backyard." It is not really in our backyard, but it sits in the middle of a huge field right behind our house. It is a great tree. As a family we have walked out to it several times over the years. It is a climbing tree. A tree for tree houses. Good for swings and club meetings. Part of what makes it so great is the fact that it is in an undeveloped field that gets plowed only once a year. This time of year the grass is growing tall around the tree. It is truly a beautiful site out our kitchen window.

(Transition)

Jacob turns 8 in a couple days. My oldest is growing so fast. This past week we let him and a friend go out to the tree by themselves! There they started a club, but are not sure what for. They like to play hide-and-go-seek in the tall grass. There try to climb the tree to see the remains of an old fort it once held. They even tried to ride their bikes through the field to get to the Tree.

When Jake is at the tree he is the farthest away from me he has ever been, while completely unsupervised! For a control freak father this is a little nerve raking. But it has to be done. He has to grow up. He needs to hang out with his friends and be a boy! What more could a group of 8 and 9 year boys ask for: 1) an open field in which to play 2) a tree to offer protection from raiders, buccaneers and space aliens 3) a irrigation channel with water in it! This is all boy paradise, even when the girls do show up.

I long for the days when "The Brothers" will reminisce about the field and the Tree with their own children. Both will be larger than life. I am sure they will recall legendary battles, heroic feats and great explorations (they have already found a duck egg and a big bone). The Tree will be mythic in their minds, as will the vast plains of the field. This is how it should be. This is what I want for them. I would have it no other way, despite my unease.

Now starts the slow pull of life changing my boys into men.

Next...

Well, today was to be the day I was to inform my boss about my desire to demote and scale back my hours for the purpose of spending more time at Evergreen. Needless to say that did not happen. God has seen fit to keep me going on the course I am. So what does this mean...I don't really know. Here are a few possible ideas:

• Now is not the right time.
• Evergreen is not the right place.
• I am not the right person.
• This was not right course of action.

It is clear that 3 out of the above 4 are painfully true. However, I do believe that Evergreen is the right place. Since this is my conviction, I am going to try and cut off any leaks in my spare time to give to Evergreen. I will take my 3-4 hours a week (instead of the 30-40 hours I was hoping to have) and do exactly what I was planning on doing.
I do not see this as any kind of rebellion or my way of giving God the finger for not coming through for us, but a way of being faithful to his calling and gifting of me. I am no rocket scientist, but I have figured out God has gifted me to do certain things, things I love to do, so I'm going to do them.
Maybe at some time in the future God will see fit to rectify the other 3 variables and things will be different...then again maybe not.

Love thy Neighbor

Last Sunday I went to a symposium on Islam at the invite of my neighbor, an Ahmadi Muslim. This gathering was sponsored by the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, which is a sect of Islam outside the mainstream. The topic for discussion was, “Islam: A Religion of violence or peace?” At this symposium I learned a great deal about this brand of Islam:

• God used one last prophet (Hazrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad Qadiani 1835-19080) to restore the message of Mohammad, which has been corrupted through out time.
• Their motto is, "Love for All, Hatred for None."
• Jihad (lit.: to strive) has 3 meanings: 1) Akbar- to strive against one's evil tendencies and improve. This is the greatest jihad 2) Kabeer- to strive against evil teachings, evil designs and evil plans 3) Ashgar- to wage war against the enemies of the freedom of religion.
• In there view all people of the word are equal.
• There is no compulsion in religion; believe do don't.
• Pictures of Mohammad with a sword in one hand and the Koran in the other are caricatures created by others outside Islam and not truthful representations of the prophet.
• Jesus was a prophet and a reformer come to reestablish the Law of Moses.

It is this last point that had me squirming in my sit. I said to myself, "that is not who Jesus is. You have totally misunderstood the gospels and the rest of the New Testament." Then, as I was running down a list of who Jesus is according to his presentation of himself, it dawned on me and I thought, "of course they have misunderstood Jesus! It is clear and reasonable to see that their view of Jesus is different then the Bible's. If they did have a biblical view of Jesus and grasped him as God's Messiah sent to restore and rescue all of creation on our behalf, they would not be Muslims. They would be Christians!"

Nonetheless, I enjoyed my time at the symposium and enjoy my time talking with my neighbor. I will have to spend more time with him.

Nothing Good

I have been working 11 and 12 hour days this week. I will write something provocative (not just maybe silly) soon. I'm just too burned out right now.

Google Fun

Here’s what we "need" apparently. (Google your name and the word "needs" and see what comes up. These are the first 12). Kind of funny.

CHIP needs to find a home with all adults to care for her. (wow, I am female and apparently a pet)
Chip Needs A Third Less Power (reverse this one)
chip needs more UML like a hole in the head (I don't even know what UML is/are)
chip needs a new home (in PDX would be great, at about 52nd and Powell. Can someone make this happen?)
CHIP Needs Outside Investigation (is my past catching up to me?)
chip needs to be programmed and how it answers at the first commands (my parents tried this a long time ago and it didn't work)
chip needs to be vortexed using an IKA vortexer (yeah baby! bring in on! anyone know what this means?)
Chip needs to be able to be easily updated throughout (this is fo sure)
chip needs to travel (Scotland is calling)
"Chip" Needs A Hug (every day, thanks Deb!)
chip needs to be worn during the race to receive an official time (huh?)
chip needs to be returned (Not useless I am "new and unused" , within 90 days of purchase and with a receipt. does anyone have my receipt?)

Debra needs to read and write (yes)
Debra needs To go (no)
Debra needs to pray for us (yes)
Debra needs to be set loose on the world. (yes)
Debra needs to solve the math problems correctly(not so much)
DebRA needs your help (yes)
Debra needs your financial support (yes)
Debra needs therapy (no, well she is married to me! yes!)
Debra needs to stop having surgeries before she looks like Michael Jackson. (naaa! I like Michael)
Debra needs a photo to post (yes)
Debra needs to reorder (no)
Debra needs to update her resume (no, she has the perfect job)

2554 Days

Seven years ago today my Dad died.

I remember every emotion I felt that day.

Deb was in SoCal. for a seminary class and I was at home in NorCal. with Jake when my Dad was admitted into the hospital. This was no big deal, because he had been admitted so many times before.

Dad had develop some gang green in one of his big toes and it was most likely going to be amputated. This is not uncommon for diabetics who's kidneys are failing and have been on dialysis.

But as the day progress, the gang green started to speared. Soon
he was going to lose his foot, then part of his leg. The ironic part now
is I had a harder time dealing with the thought of him losing
a limb and I did with losing him.

As the day turned into night, his body started to shut down. My Mom called and wanted me to speak with the doctors. Knowing what was coming the family, with my blessing, decided that no heroic action would be taken to prolong Dad's life.

I hung up the phone and fall to the floor sobbing. I knew my Dad would die that night. I called my best friend and left a message telling him what was happening. I grab Jake, my keys and a suit case of clothes and headed for SoCal. Little did I know that less then a half hour after I left, my
Dad was gone.

I never had the chance to say a final good bye. I did not get to tell him I loved him. I never had the chance to bless him before he met his Creator.

Seven years ago I lost my father, my friend, my teacher, my mentor, my guide and I miss him everyday.

I love you Dad.

This Place

Tomorrow, I will get up before the dawn,

to prepare myself for another day.

Even now, I dread what needs to be done.

I must go to a place that is not my own.

There I will be something I am not.

This place, it steals my energy,

clouds my mind,

and darkens my soul.

This is not like a trip to the dentist or a session at the gym.

These can be skipped with no dire consequence.

No, tomorrow before the sun rises I will get sucked into another world

and play a miscast role.

Oddly enough, my life and the lives of others depend on me going.

This place provides food, clothes, health and shelter.

Although, the price for these is high.

Not in dollars, but in sense.

My currency is time,

meaning,

purpose.

I wish I didn’t have to go.

I wish I could be me.

I wish I could be who I am created to be.

I wish I could...

Love,

Think,

Write,

Talk,

Pray,

Read,

Worship,

Relax,

Play,

Share,

Impart,

Encourage,

Challenge,

Teach…

But I can’t.

I am the keeper of an unsatisfied hunger.

This place, it calls to me at night.

It disrupts my sleep.

I feel beholden and trapped,

restricted and restrained.

I could just not go, but what then?…what then?…what then?

Alas, tomorrow the sun will rise and I will be there.

I will give all I have for someone else’s vision.

and I will continue to wait.

Tomorrow will be like the rest.

I will go, I must go.

Tired and frustrated I will return,

burdened with the hope of another life,

yet preparing for the next sunrise.

Father give me peace.

"Make me know Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.^{" Ps 25:4-5}

Bibliofile

Kevin Stilley is man who is giving away a ton of good (and maybe not so good, we will have to see) books. Anyone in their right mind would love to win such a prize. Check here more information. This could be a very interesting Christmas.

Check this out...

Go to YouTube and search for Phil Hansen to find more. Check out "Influences."

Da Jesus Book

A guy I work with is Hawaiian and just returned from a vacation back home. When he returned he begin dispensing gifts. Golf balls, little hula dancers in grass skirts, macadamia nuts cookies, you know the fair. But when he gave me my gift I was awe struck. He gave a me a Bible, a Hawaii Pidgin New Testament! Here is the "Lord's Prayer" in Pidgin:

“God, you our Fadda.
You stay inside da sky.
We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay,
An dat you stay good an spesho,
An we like dem give you plenny respeck.
We like you come King fo everybody now.
We like everybody make jalike you like,
Ova hea inside da world,
Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like.
Give us da food we need fo today an every day.
Hemmo our shame, an let us go
Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready,
And we no stay huhu wit dem
Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff,
But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us.
Cuz you our King.
You get da real power,
An you stay awesome foeva.
Dass it!”

Here is John 3:16:

"God wen get so plenny love an aloha
fo da people inside da world,
dat he wen sen me,
his one an ony boy,
so dat everybody dat trus me no get cut off from God,
but get da real kine life dat stay to da max foeva."

This is so great!

Good Friday

This is the body of Jesus broken for you...
..............This is the blood of Jesus shed for you.

This is the body of Jesus broken for you...
..............This is the blood of Jesus shed for you.

This is the body of Jesus broken for you...
..............This is the blood of Jesus shed for you.

This is the body of Jesus broken for you...
..............This is the blood of Jesus shed for you.

This is the body of Jesus broken for you...
..............This is the blood of Jesus shed for you.

This is the body of Jesus broken for me...
..............This is the blood of Jesus shed for me.

God has had mercy on our souls!

Bed Time Stories

I have been trying to read a Bible story to the boys at night before bed. With this being Holy Week, Sunday I read them what is called the Triumphal Entry, Tonight I read them the last Passover and betrayal of Jesus at the hands of Judas (Matthew 20). This is a transcript of the conversation that followed with Fish and One Sock.

Ben: What happened to the criminals?
Dad: No, buddy they treated Jesus like a criminal and arrested him.
Jake: Was this at the Passover?
Dad: Yes. Jesus and his disciples would have celebrated the Passover tonight. They would have gone to the garden of Gethsemane and Jesus would have been arrested. Tomorrow is the day that we remember as the day Jesus was crucified on the cross.
Jake: Tomorrow?
Dad: Yes, tomorrow.
Jake: At what time?
Dad: At about noon, when you normally eat lunch.
Jake: I hate non-Christians!
Dad: Well Jake, we should love all people no matter if they are Christ followers or not. By the way, are you a "Christians?"
Jake: Well kinda.
Dad: Do you know what a Christian is?
Jake: Yeah, but i can't explain it.
Dad: If you can't explain are you really a Christian.
Jake: That is why I said, "kinda."
Dad: Do you want to know what a Christian is?
Jake: Yes.
Dad: A Christians is someone who believes Jesus is God, that he died on the cross for our sins and rose again on Easter Sunday.
Jake: So this is what don't get: who raised Jesus from the dead? Was it God or did Jesus raise himself.
Ben: Dad is Toby Mac real? (Ben was looking at an inlay card for Portable Sounds)
Dad: Yes, he is a real person. Jake, Jesus is God. There is God the Father, God the Son (Jesus) and God the Holy Spirit. Lets read John 10:17-18...So, Jesus raised himself.
Jake: So it was God the "J." Not God the "F" or God the "HS."
Dad: Well, the Bible says in other places that God the Father raised Jesus (Acts 2:24) and it says that God the Holy Spirit raised Jesus too (Romans 8:11).
Ben: Dad, where does Toby Mac live?
Dad: Tennessee, I think.
Jake: Somewhere near Nashville?
Dad: Yes, I think so.
Jake: So all three Gods raised Jesus.
Ben: Dad, how far is Tennessee?
Dad: Far. There is only one God, Jake, but three persons. (I had to really fight getting into the finer points of the Trinity here. That could come later, I wanted to get back to, "What is a Christian?") So, a Christian is someone who believes that Jesus is God, that he died on the cross for our sins and rose again on Easter Sunday. Because of this, a Christian is someone who obeys Jesus and does what he asks. Tomorrow we will go to worship and remember the death of Jesus on the cross.
Jake: How long was Jesus in the grave?
Dad: Three days. Now, worship tomorrow will be a time of being quite and sad.
Ben: Sad?
Dad: Yes, sad, because we remember that Jesus died on the cross for the bad things we do, so we don't have to. He died so we don't have to be separated from God.
Ben: So, we don't have to die?
Dad: No, we don't have to die. Good night.

I love my boys...I love my God!

I laughed at this...

I love You Tube.

12 Stones

Joshua 4:21-24
21Then Joshua said to the Israelites, “In the future your children will ask, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 22Then you can tell them, ‘This is where the Israelites crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ 23For the Lord your God dried up the river right before your eyes, and he kept it dry until you were all across, just as he did at the Red Sea when he dried it up until we had all crossed over. 24He did this so all the nations of the earth might know that the Lord’s hand is powerful, and so you might fear the Lord your God forever.” NLT

So, its April 1st. This year it is Palm Sunday and April Fools Day, an odd joining of two worlds. It also happens to be a memorial day for the Andersons. Today, three years ago, we left a beautiful city, a vibrant church community and all of our dreams to begin a year long nomadic trek through the valley of the shadow of death. Today, is the anniversary of when we left Santa Cruz, literally homeless. You can read that story here .
To remember this day and to celebrate God's faithfulness to us in our most desperate hour, we started a tradition. The day we left our small red house in Mt. Hermon just outside Santa Cruz, we packed everything we could into our car, including Jake and Ben, and sent the rest to a storage unit. So, now on April 1st we go out pack the trunk of our car (we use the van now) with stuff, not to haul around, but to give away. Since being in the Pacific North West and having a tie to a church in PDX that cares for homeless teens and other people downtown we choose to get a "trunk full" of whatever they need most. Mostly socks, individually packaged food stuffs, "Charmin To Go" toilet paper, toothbrush kits, tarps and deodorant, etc.
"Home PDX" is an off shoot of The Bridge and today was their first meeting. We literally met up with some friends (Jessi and Nathan Willard) underneath the Hawthorne St. bridge where Home PDX was gathering. Today they were just making friends and serving a free lunch to anyone who wanted. Ken the pastor was ever so gratetful for the trunk stuff and we were thankful for the chance to give and eat lunch with them.
So April 1, 2007, another year to thank God for his mercy, another year to care for others and another year of teaching our boys the lessons of our history.