This Place

Tomorrow, I will get up before the dawn,

to prepare myself for another day.

Even now, I dread what needs to be done.

I must go to a place that is not my own.

There I will be something I am not.

This place, it steals my energy,

clouds my mind,

and darkens my soul.

This is not like a trip to the dentist or a session at the gym.

These can be skipped with no dire consequence.

No, tomorrow before the sun rises I will get sucked into another world

and play a miscast role.

Oddly enough, my life and the lives of others depend on me going.

This place provides food, clothes, health and shelter.

Although, the price for these is high.

Not in dollars, but in sense.

My currency is time,

meaning,

purpose.

I wish I didn’t have to go.

I wish I could be me.

I wish I could be who I am created to be.

I wish I could...

Love,

Think,

Write,

Talk,

Pray,

Read,

Worship,

Relax,

Play,

Share,

Impart,

Encourage,

Challenge,

Teach…

But I can’t.

I am the keeper of an unsatisfied hunger.

This place, it calls to me at night.

It disrupts my sleep.

I feel beholden and trapped,

restricted and restrained.

I could just not go, but what then?…what then?…what then?

Alas, tomorrow the sun will rise and I will be there.

I will give all I have for someone else’s vision.

and I will continue to wait.

Tomorrow will be like the rest.

I will go, I must go.

Tired and frustrated I will return,

burdened with the hope of another life,

yet preparing for the next sunrise.

Father give me peace.

"Make me know Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.^{" Ps 25:4-5}